SCOTT

SCOTT

Warm eyes that dance in greeting
Framed in rugged , ruddy face
And anxious smile .

Love me please!
believe me please!
That I may love me –
believe me!

What you see is what I have.
Body devoid of stillness –
a soul of great desire –
unfulfilled!

Be convinced!
This smile –
this cultured voice-
these social manners
honed.
No – not to deceive you
but me –
but me !
In those dark
those frightening recesses
hollowed out over years,
over years –
to hide, to hide
to hide –
no, not from you –
no! No! No!
But the scarecrow in me!
Deep within
it screams with laughter
that must be drowned!

Surely goodness,
remembered mores –
eternal truths,
Will soothe the inner scream,
guide the wavering steps –
bathe with salve
almost felt upon the yearning flesh,
in the communal bath of acceptance,
smiling welcome –
drowning the howling inner scream.
Oh! Yes!
I am normal! One of them all!
Yes!

I belong!
Yes?
Yes-
Oh, Oh – but I must –
mustn’t I!?

I?
Tell me!
Soothe me!
I would know what I cannot
in that inner, restless darkness!
Honed how –
I do not know!
Why?
Honed why?
In suddenness it coils, chokes, cries!
Relieve me!
Calm me – Please!

All will be well!
All will be well?
Lord!
Lord! You –
You love me –
Don’t you?
Don’t you!

Isn’t it –
Isn’t it true!
O tell me!
As I wander in your house.

“You are my child!
“I know you!”
“I love you!”
“So Precious to me!”

Oh! Oh but I am afraid –
afraid of me,
afraid of you,
afraid, afraid of –
afraid of life.
Afraid of what I yearn for!
Afraid! Oh yes –
Afraid of being afraid!

I don’t want you to know.
But! But!
Save me! Please!

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